Armadillo Shuffle

When I was at tech school for the Air Force at Keesler AFB we had PT 3 times a week. It was something like an hour of running in a huge circle. Many of us young airman would perform what was affectionately called the, "Keesler shuffle." This is pretty much walking at a brisk pace with a bit of a bounce added in to make it look like you were actually jogging. For the past week I have been doing what I am calling the Armadillo shuffle. You see, it's almost April in San Antonio and it is already in the 90s with humidity to match. I decided to try a taste of my Run 365 program while visiting the in-laws since Aide has a treadmill in the garage. I told myself that I was going to run every single day for at least 15 minutes as per the official rules that Run Betty Run had set forth. My first day out there I ran for 20 minutes alternating between a 12 minute mile and 10 minute mile every minute. This doesn't sound too bad does it? Well within the first 5 minutes I was dripping sweat into my precious eye balls and various wounds I have suffered from facing a Guinness Kitty's wrath for making her get into a kennel one too many times for this vacation. "Only 15 more minutes," I said to myself while trying to desperately pay attention to Sunshine the Werewolf on my Ipod. 5 more minutes go by, sweat is dripping into my mouth (grossness) my cat inflicted wounds feel like there is battery acid, not sweat, being introduced to them, and now there is a fucking spider dangling from the roof. I try desperately to blow him away realizing this is depleting my precious air supply for my run. Not only did the spider not do what I wanted it to (it must have been a man spider) but now I've messed up my breathing pattern. So with 5 minutes left I decide to be a pansy and slow down my pace, only I'm keeping my eye on this spider and don't realize that I hit the button to speed up the treadmill not slow it down. I finished up my 20 minutes though and I killed that damn spider to scare off any other spiders that had the bright idea to slow down my process of, "Trying to get Fine TM," I've even ran every single day that I have been here and while I'm not officially starting my Run 365 since things are going to be so hectic and uncertain when we get to Anchorage on Tuesday, I am about 99% sure that running every day for 365 days won't blow dogs for quarters. Oh, and that I hate spiders who ruin my running groove with a fiery passion and will feel the consequences of doing so with a swift death.

Husky Square Dance

     It's been a really long time since my last post, and since no one reads this it's fine. We are on the Texas leg of our vacation before heading to Alaska on Tuesday. Oh the joys of visiting family for a whole month...I want to rip my own arm off and beat myself into a coma with it. The trip started with a lovely 9 hour flight from Ramstein AFB and a plane full of screaming infants that made me contemplate sterilization at least 50 times. We made our way to the Mother Slice's in Pennsylvania. Luckily she was hardly home and I got to spend quality time with my Bitch. Then it was off to KY, the state not the jelly. I got to see my sister it was pretty tame. Finally 17 hours and 600$ in rental car fees later we arrived in San Antonio, Tejas. I have nothing to say...except his mother never shuts up and his dad is almost a creepy old man who thinks he has to be funny all the time. My soul hurts so bad that even Valium cannot help.
     I'm going to be partaking in what I'm calling Run 365* when we have our house set up and I've conned (read performed sexual favors for) my husband into buying me my fancy new treadmill. I've been secretly stalking this woman's blog. She made a vow to run every day for a whole year leading up to her wedding. Now I am no super woman like her who runs 15 miles like its a walk in the park. So I plan on writing about my experience which will in no way, shape, or form resemble the uplifting experience this awesome chick had whilst doing it. If you are interested in the rules that I will be following please visit her web page and check out her original post.

*my working title which will probably not change because I'm lazy which makes this whole endeavor ironic.