The Lurkey Turkey

     No one likes a creepy turkey (or a creepy person for that matter, you know you have one hiding in your bushes right now waiting for a peek of your world class ass.) When I think of a turkey I think of these guys.

(This is actually my sisters first turkey she killed. It now sits forever on a fake tree branch. These guys also like to hang out in bushes like creepy people but I'm sure they don't care for your ass.)

     It turns out that most of our Thanksgiving turkeys are actually white and creepy looking so I don't feel so bad about eating them anymore. There are many ways to prepare turkey, but I always get a young turkey around 10 pounds or so and cook the (now creepy) bastard in my crotch pot. I know, I know everyone says this is dangerous because it sits in the "danger zone" for too long. But I have not died yet and the turkey is so damn good that I don't care. This year I also prepared turkey a different way. A way that will leave you in a diabetic coma.

     These are my tiny turkey dinner cupcakes that I made from this website. I changed mine up a bit from theirs and made the cranberry sauce with red gel frosting because it looks more like the gross crap from the can. I had to order those damn green nonpareils online because I live in super rural Germany, but I got such a large container that I will never want/need green nonpareils again.